My Tragic Mental Scarring Over Knife Throwing Acts
When I was a kid around the first or second grade I remember there being a kind of “talent show” being done one day at school. The only thing I remember from the whole show was the knife throwing act.
I still clearly remember sitting in a darkened school room and they were playing “Flight of the Bumblebee” (I didn’t know it was called that at the time). I remember seeing the spotlight fly around and around, trying to keep up with the music. I remember the target being a big flat piece of wood painted yellow with a solid black outline of a woman on it that the “victim” would stand in, much like the body at a crime scene. I remember the solid “THUMP”, “THUMP”, “THUMP” sound as the principal of the school threw knives at one of the teachers, handles of blades sticking out of the solid wooden target. And of course, kids being the little animals that they are, I can also remember how we all cheered at the idea that one of the teachers might get it.
Come to think of it I can also remember that the teacher in question wasn’t as hot as the woman in the picture here too, but I suppose I digress.
In any case we were to be disappointed. No one was going to end up with a knife sticking out of them in a horrific screaming scene that would mentally scar a hundred 8 year olds for life. Do I sound disappointed?
I suppose in a sense I am but only because that is the nature of the act. The risk that someone might get hurt is critical to the whole thing. Otherwise it is little more than a game of darts.
But there is one other thing I remember all to well. One thing that led to my being disappointed in the act far sooner than every other kid in that room.
It was a scam.
You see there was a reason why that target backdrop was painted in such a garishly bright yellow. There was a reason why the hyper music was being used and the spotlight flew around so fast trying to keep up with the music.
It was because they were doing their best to make sure that we couldn’t see the telltale holes in the target. The holes that let the person hiding behind the targer to shove through the prop blade handles timed to suddenly appear as the principal, that lying jerk, appeared to throw each knife. Prop blade handles, I was later to discover, were made out of tongue depressors.
Yup. They lied. They cheated us out of the danger. Can you believe it? Not wanting to psychologically scar all those kids or run the risk of something not working right in a crowded room like a knife bounching off the target backdrop and landing in one of the kids sitting six inches from the teachers feet.
It’s criminal I tell you.
Still, it had an impact on me and years later I would try my hand at knife throwing in my backyard. I would also give up after a while because I wouldn’t get the hang of it within the first ten throws and wouldn’t ever think to do something smart like read a book or ask someone how to do it.
But this past weekend at Purgatorio I had a chance to try again and to recieve some instruction in the process. Tried a few throws. Got one to stick. Got some clues on how to figure out how to do it. Got some direction.
In other words I got another interest.
Can’t imagine I’m going to be throwing knifes around scantily clad females any time soon but it seems like a nice long term goal.
You know, another way to spend time with scantily clad females.